A short written agreement with yourself about how you want to meet the next dysregulation. Not a vow. Not a goal. A working understanding between your steady self and your spiralling self.
When this might help:
You’ve finished this book or a part of it and want to anchor the work
You’ve come through a difficult patch and want to learn from it
You want a reference point your spiralling self can read
The practice:
Write a letter from your regulated self to your spiralling self. Cover four things:
What I know about you. What this self looks like, what triggers them, how they show up, what they fear.
What I won’t ask of you. What you’re explicitly letting go of, perfection, instant return, never spiralling again.
What I’m offering. The specific tools and supports your spiralling self can reach for. Name them.
The promise. One short sentence. Something like “I will not abandon you when you spiral. I will come back.”
Sign it. Date it. Put it somewhere you can find it when you need it. Read it when you’re regulated, not just when you’re spiralling.
Keep it with you: print this tool as a card (PDF).
Audio guide: arriving with the book's launch.
Come back to this whenever you need it. Returning is the practice.