A short list of phrases that create distance between you and a thought. Borrowed from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, adapted for spirals. The structure matters more than the exact words, find ones that feel natural to you.
When this might help:
A thought feels true and unmovable
You’re identified with the thought (“I am anxious”) rather than observing it (“I notice anxiety”)
You want to soften without arguing with yourself
The phrases:
Take any spiralling thought and put one of these in front of it:
“I’m having the thought that…”
“I notice my mind is telling me…”
“There’s a story here that says…”
“My nervous system is offering me the idea that…”
So “I’m a failure” becomes “I’m having the thought that I’m a failure.” Same content. Different relationship. The thought is still there. You are not it.
Pick two phrases that feel right. Keep them where you can see them.
Keep it with you: print this tool as a card (PDF).
Audio guide: arriving with the book's launch.
Come back to this whenever you need it. Returning is the practice.